Billy has a new paesan, Ken, it seems he, Miles, Darryn and Billy have made quite a splash as a group. His teacher told me today that Billy isn't listening anymore. When they used to threaten time out he would tear up and hug them with an apology, no more. They have to physically go to him and make him do as he's told and he knows just how far he can push before big trouble. It's in circle time, play time, clean up time, outside time, nap time. She said he is bored. She said he is disruptive. My heart was breaking, I know Billy's faults, I know he isn't the best listener, I know he is uninterested in circle time, I know with kindergarten coming up there's not much I can do but make him listen as best I can.
We all sat down at the table and I talked to him, once daddy was filled in (from my talking) he told him how disappointed he was, how sad it made him. Aaron's heart was breaking too, more then mine. So, we put together a plan pretty much on the fly because he knew I was talking to Veronica about him, I couldn't let it slide, it had to be addressed right away. So, he went without dessert or any treats, like watching tv tonight and the plan is tomorrow he has to go in and apologize to his teachers. He got it, he told us the reasons, more then just not listening, but examples. Daddy or I will ask every day how he did, if he gets a bad report one day he loses his privileges for the night, if he gets two in one week, he loses boys night and any fun activities planned for the weekend. It sounds harsh but I want to take care of this right now.
Now, the parent who used to be a teacher side of me says there is more going on then just 4 boys acting out. They went from 8 kids and 2 teachers (some days 5 kids) to 24 kids and 2 teachers almost over night, last week there were 21 kids, this week there are 24 kids. Thats alot of pressure to put on teachers, I know, I was one. They said it started a week and a half ago and the analytical side of me says this is partially being overly stressed by new additions to the class, I know I dreaded it and when the director dumped more then one in the same week I wanted to murder her. I don't think these teachers have NEARLY enough training, I've thought that from the beginning. They have no continued education which means at the maximum they have 12 ece credits, not nearly enough to be qualified to really run a classroom. When she told me he was bored my first thought was, this is the difference between a preschool that costs twice as much like Mission where he went to before. Instead of telling me he's bored they told me what they did to engage him in a lesson, cars for painting chugging like a train to circle time, pulling out car books during reading time.
This school has no assigned book/quiet area, no place to rest. They went from 8 kids where the rambunctious boys were not a problem, they were able to handle the classroom, now they are dealing with 7 new kids in a weeks time, all crying, all adjusting and a classroom that is filled to capacity, the kids feed off the chaos and unfortunately billy is one of the more loud, more hyper, more energetic BOYS. You can't expect a classroom of perfect GIRLS who play quietly in the corner and stay to themselves, it just isn't possible.
I loved the crazy ones, they were my pets, they needed a little more attention, Billy is not one of the wild ones, he is happy, full of life, full of energy, with ears that turn off, a lot. I want to shake them, the ones like Billy have so much to offer, they aren't burdens, they love so fiercely they will be your loyalest friend, they will jump up every time you walk in the door, they will hug you so tight it will take your breathe away, they will kiss you with the sweetest kisses that only children that age, children who still believe that everything is possible and the world is a magical place.
I know Billy needs this wake up call but I can't help thinking that the teachers need one too. I'm going to go talk to the director tomorrow so that she know we are working together with them but I may have some words of my own to share with her. How it will be received, from what I've seen, not well. Maybe I'll hold off, being a parent is so different from being a teacher. I know so much about children but when it's your own, it is so different. I'll never forget having a conference with Claudia's mom and watching her sit with 4 teachers and a director facing her telling her her child is unmanageable, the tears she tried so hard to hold back, trying to listen but thinking probably pretty similar to what I'm thinking right now, she's my baby, how can so much be WRONG with her? Please tell me something positive, please tell me you see what I see when I look at her, please tell me you see goodness in her. From that moment on I decided to look at my troubled ones (there were 2) as if I was their mother, I looked for the good, I praised when I saw them do something positive, I chose them to sit next to, not to control but because they were special. There were 3 other teachers to look after the easy ones, those two were mine. I put them to sleep had their mats next to each other and laid down in the middle stroking their hair, at least 5 other moms commented to the director that I was so gentle with them at naptime their mothers would be so happy to know how they were cared for. It only took a couple of weeks to turn those kids around, I had to stop seeing them as problems to deal with and start looking at them as individual children with so much to give, so much joy and I swear, the hugs I got when I walked in the door, they would almost knock me over, knock the wind out of me. It was so worth the little bit of effort I took to CARE for them and not just look over them from afar cursing the day we got dumped with the class from hell, which was how I looked at my class in the beginning'
And to think, Billy is just being a boy and I got a talking to, in a way I'm glad because he has to listen and respect his teacher like I HOPE they would respect him, but at the same time I am the mom with her heart on her sleeve thinking, "Please tell me something good about my baby, please tell me you see in him what I see, just please."
And on that loooooooooong note, a layout I made today with Studio Calico's Candy Shoppe kit, I'm in love with it, I pulled it out the second I got it! It's based loosely on the latest Pencil Lines sketch. Billy at Auntie Mil's in the secret spot in the back yard, one of his favorite things to do when we go there, after using the wind-itself hose and looking for dog poop this is where he'll be!
